13.4.14

I know I'm not the best.
But I tried to do my best.
It just that..

I'm not smart enough, not good enough, not generous enough, not kind enough, not siew enough.
I wanted to do things well.
I look into everything when I do something.
But I always miss something.

I want to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend and a better me.
But everything is just not enough.
I asked myself why.
Am I too careless?
Or am I too "Bo Sim" ?

I wanted people to see me like this.
So I purposely do like this.
But I'm like that.
I'm not like this.
That's why I always tell myself that I'm a bad person.

What should I do then?
Like this or like that?
People should just be themselves but not following others right?
But if I do like that.. I'll feel myself a bad person.
At the same time if I do like this.. It's not me.

Aigoo.
Just spliting out my mind.
Going back Malacca today with Hong.
Here ends my mid-term break.
By Watching Drama, Struggling to study, Eating and Enjoy.

Just do what you want LOL.

Random ( 8.4.14 )

People is the plural of person.

I'm a person.

I'm among the people.

What's so important to be a person?

Why do you be a person?

Who are you to be a person?

I'm Siew.

A girl who some time doesn't know who herself is.

Who she wanted to be.

What she wanted to have.

She doesn't know what her life means.

She follows the trends.

She follows the rules.

She follows everybody else.

She wants to be strong.

She wants to be independent.

She wants to be confident.

But what she has?

She is in confusion.

4.4.14

I'm home today.
Waited for panorama public bus at Malacca from 1.50 pm until 3.05 pm.
Reach Malacca Central at 3.55 pm.
Sit and rest until 4.15 pm and took 4.30 pm bus back to home.
It started to rain heavily when I was about 10 minutes to the bus station.
I was wet when I get in the car :3
Well. It's my mid term break :)

I passed my fourth's first half semester so dam FAST.
I don't even know what I did in these 7 weeks.
Study? Nope. I'm not even in mood to handle my quiz.
I even get 1 per 15 for a quiz that I know how to do.
Enjoy? Nope.
I don't have a very happy memory in my mind when I wrote this.
Eat? It will be a Yes for this one.
I ate at wind mill, secret recipe and subaidah XD
And some small shops that we always go.

There's one thing I want myself to remember.
Even thought it doesn't ends well.
Or should I say it doesn't even start?
But I'm glad I did tried to do it and continue on doing it :)
It was dancing for Spring Fest' 14.
But due to reasons like short of time to practice for the drama actor, venue that provide time for them to decorate and enough spacing, it was cancelled.
Too bad.

All the actors and teachers

Friends :)

And a guy who joined our selfie himself XD

I even tried dancing for the prom night.
But when they asked who wanted to perform on that night I didn't raise up my hand.
Lack of confidence I think.
I'm slow on catching the movement and lack of sense.
I was like I'll be there if you need me.
But won't be if I'll be the one who make you slow.
And lastly, they got enough person.
So I'm out :)
At least I tried isn't it.

Photo we took on the first practice

There's another one thing :P
I don't know why I can't really talk when I'm in a group.
Well maybe it's normal when there's guys.
But I don't even talk when there's only girls.
I always thought that hmm.. it's really nothing to split out in my mind.
I'm empty minded.
But when I'm home.
When I'm talking with my family.
My mind was empty too!
I still can talk.
La. Just like this.